This is a long and detailed post about my relationship with Relient K for the past six years. Good luck.
For the past week, I have been wearing a different Relient K shirt every day. Tomorrow will be the last day. Why do I love them so much? I don’t know. All I know is, from the very first time I heard Be My Escape in sixth grade, I have been addicted. Immediately after I heard it, I found Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been, and from there I went to yahoo music and watched every single one of their music videos up to date. That Christmas I got my first album by them (their fourth) MMHMM. The next one I bought was Two Lefts Don’t Make A Right… But Three Do. Until I saw them live for the first time in eighth grade (back when Dave Douglas was still their drummer), those were the only two albums I owned.
At that show, I bought Five Score And Seven Years Ago (it was released about a month prior) and two Relient K shirts. (This was also the first time I had ever heard of the band Sherwood. They were pretty good then, but now they are sneaking up onto my favorites list - go pick up a copy of their latest album QU!) I cried before the show, because the hotel we were staying at in Charlotte was literally four minutes from the venue. We could have walked. But instead we decided to drive and were sent out on a forty-five minute long detour because of some stupid marathon going on, and I thought I was going to miss the most fabulous band in the entire universe. But, alas, we made it, and the aforementioned events took place. At the door on the way out, every person got a free demo CD (where I discovered the band 1997 - I have yet to get more of their music, but I love everything I’ve ever heard by them) and a Relient K sticker. I decided at that moment that I was going to save that sticker for my first car.
After that first beautiful experience, I went out and bought the albums I was missing: Relient K and The Anatomy Of The Tongue In Cheek. Then came summer, and my first adventure with Warped Tour. I was disappointed to discover that Relient K wasn’t there. The next school year, my freshman year, I borrowed the Apathetic EP from my friend Ben so I could put it on my ipod. What a nice guy! This was also the year I started dating my most recent ex-boyfriend. We started dating in March.
The next summer meant another Warped Tour. This time, Relient K was going to be there. Unfortunately, I didn’t know what time they were playing. I guess I should have checked. I was dating my ex at this time, and no one in his family knew how to get anywhere on time. So, naturally, he got to my house AN HOUR late. By that time, I was seriously freaking out. I didn’t want to miss anyone important. In retrospect, I should have just left him. He ruined my day. RUINED IT. We pulled into the parking lot at the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater in Charlotte two hours later, and as we stepped out of the car, I froze. Then I turned to my friend Mckenna, who had been with me for my first Relient K show, Warped Tour, and most of the shows prior to that, and said, “THEY’RE PLAYING RIGHT NOW MCKENNA. OH MY GOD. WE’RE MISSING THEM. OH MY GOD. LET’S GO LET’S GO LET’S GO!” We took off. Right about that time was when they finished their last song. We were DEVASTATED. There are no words to describe the regret I still feel for missing that show. If I didn’t have any other reasons to hate my ex, this would be the selling point. I was forced to content myself with buying a Relient K shirt. It was number three for the collection.
Fortunately for me, I have the greatest mother in the entire history of mothers. My mother found Relient K’s tent when she saw there was a signing in progress. She didn’t even have time to call me to tell me, because the signing was technically over when she stumbled across their tent. God must have been looking over me that day since He knew it wasn’t my fault I had missed them, because my mother had miraculously gotten a free Vans shirt earlier. She told the guys outside the tent that she absolutely HAD to get it signed for her daughter (me!). At first they tried to tell her no, but she proceeded to tell them that they were my favorite band in the entire world, and if she didn’t get it for me, I might never forgive her. Of course, I would have, but it was still the most wonderful thing anyone has ever done for me. Then the guys, Matt Thiessen, Jon Schneck, Matt Hoopes, John Warne, and Ethan Luck (his first year drumming with the band after Dave left in December of 2007) graciously (mercifully) let my mother in and signed my shirt. They even offered to take a picture with her, but she thought I might die if she got one without me. She was right. I still can’t believe I missed my chance, and I still think back on that day and feel pain. I haven’t been to Warped Tour since. Neither has Relient K.
The next year, Relient K released their double EP The Bird And The Bee Sides and The Nashville Tennis EP, which I snagged a copy of ASAP. I also got my car this year. It is a blue Kia Rio5, and I love it more than anything else I own. If I had to pick up and leave home right now with only three things, I would take my car, my Relient K merch, and my owl pillow. The first thing I did when I brought the car home was run upstairs and open up my copy of Holes (my favorite book which I have read at least six times), take out my Relient K sticker, and pick the perfect place on my car to put it. It is now happily living on Sofi’s (my car’s) backseat window on the driver’s side.
My ex bought me another Relient K sticker for my car this year for Christmas. It said “WARNING: Driver under the influence of Relient K”. It was my favorite thing I had ever received from him, even though he had gotten me a lot of nice things. We broke up in February though, so I took the sticker off of the car. I was a little sad when I did it, but I couldn’t have it as a reminder. I almost regret it now, but it’s okay. It didn’t really blend in well with the car anyway.
The next year puts us in the present - junior year. This year, all I asked for from my father for my seventeenth birthday was for him to take myself and my friend Kirsten to see Relient K. Their most recent album, Forget And Not Slow Down, was released on October 6th. I went straight to FYE from school the day it came out. There was one show that following Friday, October 9th in Charlotte and one the next day in Atlanta. My daddy chose to take us to the one in Atlanta. This was the best show I have ever been to in my life (the only one that compares is the All-American Rejects in Myrtle Beach, who I saw with my best friend Lizzy on November 20). We left for Atlanta at noon on Saturday, and it took us about four and a half hours to get there. We chilled and checked out the hotel for a little before we decided to head out. Kirsten and I stayed in room 303 (3OH!3). If that wasn’t a good omen, I don’t know what was. Then we all decided to check the phone book and find something good to eat. We settled on Mexican food. We found a good place within walking distance of the venue, the Variety Playhouse. Walking past the venue to go to the restaurant was enough to set off my stress-o-meter. All through dinner, all I could think was, “When are we getting out of here? I’m gonna miss it. I’m not gonna make it to the front. I have to go, NOW.” Eventually we finished dinner and made it to the line. When we finally got inside, the first thing Kirsten and I did was hit up the merch table. I bought two shirts (four and five) and a new sticker for my car, which is now stuck on the back windshield. Then we stashed our goodies with Pops and immersed ourselves in the crowd.
The first band that opened was called Barcelona. We liked them. They were really good. The next band was Copeland. We did NOT like them. They played what sounded like the same song for thirty minutes straight. The crowd looked miserable the entire time and no one was paying any attention. They could not get off the stage fast enough. Then came the most unbearable half-hour of my life - Relient K’s setup. But T-Sun finally came on the stage, and it was the greatest sight I have ever beheld. The opening song was The One I’m Waiting For, followed by Be My Escape. We started out in the back of the crowd when Barcelona was playing, but after a few Relient K songs, we had managed to be front and center. Only three people separated us from the band that had defined my life since I was eleven. It was almost surreal. They closed with Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been. At the end of the show, Ethan threw his drumstick into the crowd. It bounced off of Kirsten’s head (a miracle!) and onto the floor in front of me. All at once, the entire crowd was under me and on top of me at the same time. A large red-headed guy grabbed it the same time I did - but I wasn’t giving up that easily. I yanked that drumstick with all of my might and lo and behold, it came loose! I tucked it safely into my pants where no one could get to it. Now, I proudly display it mounted on my wall underneath a lyrical picture Lizzy painted for me with the words from Candlelight and above one I made myself with my favorite quote from Forget And Not Slow Down.
For Christmas this year, I got the two Relient K shirts most recently added to my collection. That brings me up to a total of seven, plus the Vans shirt that says “We love you, Rosie! Love, Relient K” on the back with the signatures of the five greatest people on Earth, rounding out a grand total of eight shirts.
“I could spend my life just trying to sift through what I could’ve done better, but what good do what-ifs do?” This will most likely be my senior quote when I graduate next year. If not this, it will definitely be a Relient K song lyric. I can’t think of anything else I’d rather display to the world as the one defining lyric of my entire life, summing it all up to that final point, than a brilliant lyric from the most clever, interesting, true, and inspiring band I have ever had the great fortune to discover.
If you read this whole love story of the past six years, I commend you. Kudos. Props. And thank you for reading.
